Love Archives - SHOPPE BLACK

Published on February 16, 2017April 5, 2020

14 mins read

Today is International Self-Love Day Because We Said So

Here we are, a couple days after Valentine’s Day. The dust has settled and love is just a tumbleweed rolling down the aisles of retailers that are offering candied hearts, goo-filled chocolates, faux silk flowers, teddy bears and heart-themed jammies at a cool 25-30% off. Pro-tip: savings will probably grow to a full 75% off if you wait until Sunday.

Valentine’s Day is bankable because embedded in principles of love is the understanding that it is a shared experience. We are bred to love others starting with the people that had hands in raising us. Our love expanded when we added more people to our tribe. And, at some point in between, we were taught to love mankind. Valentine’s Day tugs at our instincts to express what we learned about love.

And so, while retailers are rolling back the love, we decided that today’s the perfect day to ramp up on some self-love. That in mind, Shoppe Black declares that, from this day forward, February 16^th will be known International Self-Love Day (echo, echo, echo). Just go with it. Grab you some discounted merch and love up on yo’ self.

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Inspired by the political shitshow forced up our spirits, International Self-Love Day was conceived (read: totally made up) to remind you, dear reader, to unplug and practice joy. While we’re in the lab chatting ribbon colors and brainstorming taglines, we challenge you to use this new holiday to workshop ideas on how you can hashtag resist and divest at the same damn time.

To help get you started, we asked a few of our readers how they practice self-care.

Meet Bradford.

Bradford Knight is a freelance make-up artist living in Harlem, NY.

“When I’m stressed I like to prepare myself a nice fulfilling breakfast and give myself a manicure. I work with my hands so they are my most important tool. My profession requires that they be clean and neat. I spent years having them professionally done, but about 5 years ago I decided to take on the task myself. I actually didn’t do for economic reasons. I did it because I use my hands to make people feel beautiful everyday so it was important for me to give that love back to myself in a small way and I felt that I was the best person to do it. I have always felt that self care was important, but if it wasn’t for a friend of mine recommending I look into a professional doctor like Gundry MD, I don’t think I would have stepped up my game. Doing a bit of research into anything, especially when it comes to your health can make all the difference.

I consulted with one of my best friends, who happens to be a nail tech, about the tools I would need and how to properly execute a good manicure. I went to a local beauty supply store and bought all my utensils and got to work. I even made my own hand scrub out of a concoction of coconut oil and sugar.

My manicures last for 45 minutes to an hour. I’m able to give myself the love, if only for a short while, that I’m giving to others for 8 hours (or longer) a day. It sounds cliche, but you must love yourself before you can give it to others.

I learned that self-care was important very early on in my career in beauty, yet I didn’t practice it until much later. My work requires a lot of energy so when I was done, the last thing I wanted to do was spend time in a spa or salon. I would much rather veg out with TV or bake a pie. Only in the last 10 years have I really appreciated how one hour every two weeks can renew my spirit. And, it does not have to be in a salon or spa. It can happen in whatever space is safe and rejuvenating for you. For me, it’s doing my manicure at my dining table listening to 70’s or 80’s R&B. For someone else it could be a weekend at a spa out of town.”

You can follow Bradford’s self-love journey @justbradford on IG.

Meet Erica.

Erica Sewell is a creative recruiter/consultant living and playing in Oakland, CA.

“I relieve stress by being still. While still living in NYC— I moved there when I was 21— I had lots of energy and could run the streets from day-to-night on a liquid diet with ease. As I got older, the hustle and pace started to wear me out more so I began implementing some life changes. My diet improved, I started cooking more and drinking less, and making adult decisions like understanding that I didn’t need to attend everything that I was invited to. It’s okay to get some rest and recharge sometimes.

I have always done yoga and prayed, but I really wanted to figure out how to meditate properly. When I lived in Brooklyn I took yoga at Sacred, where lots of dope women of color instructors would end the class with a meditation, but I never felt like I fully grasped it. I always did the Oprah & Deepak Chopra meditation challenges, but I would be thinking about everything from my next meal, to my to-do list. I finally went on a meditation retreat in Panama last year, organized by guru Light Watkins and he taught me that the goal is to quiet the mind but it’s ok if other thoughts come up during your meditation. Now I meditate twice a day. I also try to have sage and/or palo santo burning in my space when things get too cray.

I meditate for 20 minutes when I first wake up and 20 minutes at around 2pm. It’s tempting to immediately wake up and grab your phone to check to see what you’ve missed in this crazy world (especially now for me being 3 hrs behind on the west coast, I always feel like I’m the last to know the madness). Meditating before I do anything prepares me to deal with whatever crazy news is on my phone. Same with my work day – that 20 minutes breaks up the busy and stressful days. I have also been so much clearer and discerning since taking the time to get quiet daily.

I live near a beautiful lake that calms me and I walk along a portion of it on my route home sometimes, but really want to start the days that I work from home with a walk around the entire lake, which is 3 miles total. I need the sunshine, the exercise and the nature. I’m also still seeking the right hot yoga studio, but in the meantime I try to do a sauna, steam or bath house whenever possible. Sweating it out and healing waters are some of my all time favorite things.”

Follow Erica jetset around the world @escape_art.

Meet Nzingah.

Nzingah Oniwosan is a social entrepreneur and holistic health consultant living in Fort Lauderdale, FL.

“I had a major anxiety attack and was going to a counselor at that the time. We felt that an intentional self-care practice was crucial for me to deal with my daily stressors as an entrepreneur as well as the trauma that led me to seek counseling.

Now, I usually put myself in timeout when I am overwhelmed. I give myself a minimum 10-20 minutes to connect inward and remove myself from external distractors (social media, phone, internet, etc.) In this time, I practice breathing exercises, journal, meditate, or practice yoga which allows me to include the breathing and meditation. It helps me reduce the internal anxiety I may be feeling. It is almost a reset to give me a clear mind to go on with my day. I have been practicing this consistently for 6 years.

I also love to use aromatherapy. I diffuse different essential oils to support whatever mood I want to achieve. I love lavender. Sometimes I take myself on dates, it is not always in outing. I give myself breakfast in bed and 5 course candlelight dinners.

However, yoga has been the most critical. It has helped me to practice mindfulness and allowed my to reduce my stress significantly. Most importantly has really assisted me to have a regimented self-care practice.

I had a major anxiety attack and was going to a counselor at that the time. We felt that an intentional self-care practice was crucial for me to deal with my daily stressors as an entrepreneur as well as the trauma I was seeking counseling for.

Self-care is important to me because I have an autoimmune disorder that I have been able to keep in remission through holistic lifestyle change. If I’m stressed out even when I’m eating well it can send my autoimmune disorder out of remission. I am in business of giving of myself and I pour a lot out, which also means I get depleted. My personal self care practice is a means to restore and balance.”

You can follow Nzingah’s vegan adventure @yesbabyilikeitraw on IG.

Meet Marcus.

“Marcus Paul is an image and creative consultant living in Brooklyn, NY.

I invest in myself by practicing Kyokushin karate 2-3 times a week. It provides a spiritual and physical balance for me. I started to fully commit to a workout regiment about 2 years ago. I have also known that self-care was important, but I would go hard for a few months and then fall off. Now I am more disciplined. I travel on average about 30 percent of the time and it is hard to keep up when I am away. I do some stretching exercises when I am away.

I also unwind by treating myself to a spa massage and, of course, retail therapy. I have my eye on pieces from Casely-Hayford, a father-son duo out of London and Wales Bonner.

Find what centers you and make it a habit.”

Follow Marcus @marcuspaulstyle on IG.

– Jo-Ann Enwezor

Published on October 6, 2016August 20, 2021

8 mins read

How GirlTrek Inspired a Love Letter to Black Women

My interview with GirlTrek is one that has been in the making for a while now—I just didn’t realize it. My first encounter with them was last year. I was in New Orleans, spending Christmas and ushering in 2016 at the home of my future parents in-law. I came across GirlTrek’s website while doing research for a health-related post. At the time, I didn’t really pay much attention.

Next, Shoppe Black content contributor extraordinaire, Mavis Gragg, mentioned GirlTrek in one of her recent posts. Then, a few months ago, my fiancées childhood BFF, Jewel, was in town for work. During one of our conversations, I found out that she is actually GirlTrek’s National Director of Communications.

We spoke more about the organization and I was immediately impressed by the impact they are having on the lives of thousands of women across the country. I asked her to please set up an interview with the co-founders, Morgan Dixon and Vanessa Garrison.

Fast forward to my scheduled conference call that took place the day before yesterday. When I called Vanessa, she was grabbing a bite to eat at a Peruvian food spot in DC. We chatted briefly about the difference between DC and Philly before Morgan hopped on the call.

I began the interview by asking how GirlTrek started. Morgan explained that it started 20 years ago. That’s how long she and Vanessa have been friends. They started walking together and eventually grew a following of 10,000 women.

Since then, GirlTrek has grown to over 75,00 members. According to Vanessa, the more accurate number is most likely double that since they weren’t really keeping an accurate count in the beginning and several unofficial chapters have since sprung up across the country.

Both women are deeply concerned with the fact that of the over 20 million Black women in America, 57% are obese and are leading in every obesity-related disease across the country. According to Morgan, the root cause of obesity and the related diseases is connected to a history of racism and poverty.

Black women have historically had to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and put everyone before themselves, sometimes neglecting their own health. Now, she says, it’s time for Black women to take that power back and reclaim their health, starting with making the commitment to walk for at least 30 minutes a day.

I let Morgan and Vanessa know that as a Black man, I feel it’s my responsibility and the responsibility of other Black men to do what we can to ensure the emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being of Black women.

I asked what ways they feel Black men can support their wives, partners, or relatives who are GirlTrek members. How can we support Black women in general?

That question seemed to catch them off guard. It was pretty obvious they weren’t expecting to hear that. They thanked me for asking and explained that it is vital that Black women receive support from the Black men in their lives.

According to Morgan, the best way to be supportive is to create an environment that allows Black women the time for self-care. Another way to be supportive is for Black men to take care of themselves mentally, physically, and financially so that the women in their lives don’t have to do so while trying to figure themselves out.

Vanessa and Morgan are troubled by the narrative that is being told about Black women. We’ve all heard the negative stereotypes, so no need to get into all that. However, what concerned me was that based on our conversation, there seemed to be a sense that Black men just aren’t here for Black women.

That we are the ones perpetuating a negative narrative associated with Black women. Morgan said that from what she sees in the majority of cases, the only time love or appreciation for one’s partner is expressed, particularly online, is between a Black man and a non-Black woman or a Black woman and her non-Black partner.

I explained that this is far from the truth. First, I am surrounded by far too many loving, caring, funny and brilliant Black women to subscribe to any type of negative stereotype or narrative about them. Second, my woman and I have absolutely no qualms about expressing our love for each other verbally, physically, or digitally. In fact, we do so regularly and often get playfully teased about it by our friends.

I also explained that I have conversations with my closest friends about how amazing and beautiful Black women are ALL. THE. TIME. Especially about the women that we are dating, engaged to, or are married to. I think one issue is that the negative minority are way louder than the majority of Black men that adore Black women. Maybe they have more time on their hands to be on social media talking nonsense, who knows.

But to be clear:

Dear Black Women,

We see you. We see you in all your glory and greatness. In your high and low moments. We see you because you stand out amongst the crowd. Your magic is undeniable. We see you because we are looking for you wherever we go. Wherever you are is where we want to be. You are our complement and we are yours. Not in a sexual or romantic sense, but universally. We know you were made by the hands of the Creator, and that alone imbues you with a power and a grace unmatched on this Earth.

Love,

Black Men

(by TJ Dean)

Click here to watch GirlTrek’s mini-documentary that highlights what happens when women walk.

–Tony Oluwatoyin Lawson

Published on September 19, 2016August 20, 2021

9 mins read

The Black Joy Project: Putting Smiles On Black Faces

A few years after my great grandmother, Ramona passed away, my grandma, Maria, told me that the pain she felt from losing her momma was something she got used to. “Eso nunca se quita,” she told me as her eyes traveled to a time that seemed brighter. It never fully goes away.

14212654_10206617606818838_6867066905530184613_n — Grandma Maria

In February of last year (almost 12 years to the day of Ramona’s passing) my uncle and grandma’s son, Ali, had a fatal asthma attack. We didn’t get a warning or an opportunity to say goodbye. I’m still getting used to that surreal feeling of loss and am accepting it may never fully go away.

14355996_10206714647284789_1164908580_n — Uncle Ali

As the year progressed, the universe continued to place challenges in my way.

Last year I was also a part of political actions, both in person and through the written word, to call out the violence against Black bodies. There were vigils, marches, visual campaigns, poems read, tears shed, contagious laughter laughed, loving hugs, breathes lost, breathes taken, shocks and silence. A collective of moments that were powerful, healing and at times triggering.

A couple days after my family’s first Thanksgiving without Ali, I woke up and my room felt darker than usual. The tan curtains I put up to enhance the sunlight in my room seemed to block warmth that morning and I felt heavier in my full size bed than I usually did. I couldn’t move and I didn’t want to.

I wanted a reprieve from this feeling of personal and communal pain. As someone who aims to inspire and support others to lead lives they love, I was stumped as to how to get myself out of a deep funk I had only genuinely experienced a few times in my life. I wrapped myself under the sheets tighter and stared at the high ceiling.

As I laid there, I thought about my family and comrades. I thought about how they had actively shown me in times of grief and pain how joy provided solace. That looked like check-ins at meetings, sending each other funny memes, having drinks together, laughing, sending heart emojis over group texts and saying, “I love and appreciate you” regularly.

Then an image of my mom beaming her beautiful smile came to mind. She was standing in front of a portrait of Frida Kahlo with hair rollers crowning her head with a bright pink background. Naturally, I pulled out my phone. I tapped the Facebook app and posted that picture along with this statement:

“Let’s bombard the internet with joy. That is resistance too. Trauma is real mi gente. Let’s trigger love as much as the pain as we share important topics we all need to be up on. Love is necessary with the understanding that peace is the exception, not the rule. #BlackJoy”

This was how I could explain and reckon with the sadness I was experiencing and the reality of living at various intersections; namely being Black, queer, latinx and male-identifying. I listened to my spirit when it told me that I needed a new journey to healing and part of it had to be in community.

I thought about the power of joy, and the ancestral understanding that Black joy is one of the forces that has gotten us through many trials and tribulations throughout the history of our existence. Throughout the African diaspora.

There are numerous instances of Black joy in history, more than this piece can address. One to note, however, is the Second World Festival of Black and African Arts & Culture (“FESTAC ‘77”) held in Lagos, Nigeria from January 15^th to February 12^th of 1977. The opening parade to this month-long celebration had Black folks, artists and intellectuals, from around the world celebrating their greatness and contributions to the globe.

There were delegations from every part of the world present to celebrate their dopeness and be in community in ways that may have never been possible before on an international level. Picture the opening of the Olympics: it was better. It was full on Black joy.

I thought posting a picture of my mom beaming her beautiful smile in front of a piece of art she loved would help me work through the darkness I was fully present to and perhaps offer other black folks in my digital community some reprieve as well. One day turned into a few. A few days turned into a couple weeks and soon it became The Black Joy Project.

An intentional corner of the Internet that could offer smiles as well as a source of joy and happiness for Black people anywhere and everywhere they needed to see someone that looked like them smiling and enjoying their lives. It serves as a reflection for that part of our existence where we enjoy our lives and share that joy with others. A happiness from Black faces across a digital platform that you can see whenever you desire it.

I’m not the first to evoke Black joy and I will not be the last. The intention of The Black Joy Project is to serve as a regular reminder that it is ok to smile and enjoy your life; it serves to articulate the understanding that it is a direct resistance to experience joy while living in a world that tells us we are not good enough or worthy of living full lives. It is direct resistance to smile and enjoy your life when there are so many factors at play to take it from us.

Pain is real, mi gente. It sits and resides in your bones sometimes, at the contours of your being. When we can access our joy and create it, there’s a freedom there. One worth defending. It is a reason to keep going and fighting so that we, all of us in our black beauty, can feel that feeling as regularly as possible. Everyday.

Contributed by Kleaver Cruz

Kleaver Cruz is an Uptown, NY native, a writer, dreamer and lover of travel. His work has been featured in African Voices Magazine, The Huffington Post Black Voices and La Galería Magazine among others. Cruz is the creator of The Black Joy Project on Instagram, an effort to center Black joy as a form of resistance. Kleaver believes in the power of words because they allow him to write what didn’t exist when he needed it the most.

Please follow @TheBlackJoyProject on Instagram and post your own moments, definitions and expressions of Black joy by using the tags #BlackJoy #TheBlackJoyProject

Photo credit for the #BlackJoy Portrait Series: Dominique Sindayiganza

Published on February 5, 2016February 4, 2023

12 mins read

Gift Ideas for Bae on Valentine’s Day

Before you hit up the usual suspects for your Valentine’s day gifts, check out these Black owned businesses that offer “romantical” products and services.

Black owned Valentine’s day

Books

p is for pussy book cover -1

P is for Pussy is a raunchy alphabet picture book of double entendres. The creation of artist and curator, Elissa Blount-Moorhead and illustrator Meltem Sahin, it’s a hilarious tongue-in-cheek illustrations that are fun for parents…and for unsuspecting kids.

In The Spirit of Intimacy, Sobonfu Somé shares ancient ways to make our intimate lives more fulfilling and secure. Need we say more?

All About Love is a Bell Hooks classic. She examines her own search for emotional connection and society’s failure to provide a model for learning to love.

Jewelry & Watches

Lorraine West is a trained Illustrator turned Jewelry Designer and Jeweler. Her mission is to empower and make her clients look and feel extraordinary. Her nipple bangles above are sought after. We know firsthand how dope her work is.

Sheryl Jones started out working for a diamond manufacturer in New York City. Now she is currently the only woman of color operating her own jewelry business in NYC’s ‘Diamond District.’

Banneker Watches was founded by Derrick Holmes. This brand was created to “Pay homage to Benjamin Banneker by Integrating luxury woods into every watch and clock design.” History and fashion. Great combo.

Moijéy is the creation of Daniel Moijueh, a Sierra Leone native and Iraq war veteran. His company adhere’s to a strict zero-tolerance policy for conflict diamonds.

Randy D. Williams named Talley & Twine Watches after a neighborhood in Virginia that had a dark past but now revitalized, has a great future. “Talley & Twine represents that future.”

Pleasure Products

Nenna Joiner, owner of Feelmore Adult Gallery, is a sex educator and adult film director. Her business is “more than just traditional adult sex store, its a place that allows you to love on yourself not just with products but with an awareness of your needs.” Feelmore is located in Oakland, CA.

Nerissa Irving created NatuRotica Wellness to promote women empowerment and educate the community on healthier alternatives as well as sexual liberation. Her website offers products and unique insights related to this topic.

V for Vadge is the brain child of Kimi LeVadge. She created this web platform in order to educate men and women of all ages on sex, sexual health and sexuality. Her website also offers products and product reviews.

Lingerie

Bijte was founded by Diana St. Louis for the busty girl. She designs halters, flouncy babydolls, plunging neckline camisoles and more. “All designed to fit a full bust and a generous bottom.”

Candles and Smell Goods

A Proud Mother Candle Co. is a Detroit, MI based business owned by Bernetta Waller. Their products are hand poured with 100% soy wax. Their factory is located in an impoverished neighborhood and provides jobs as well as entrepreneurship mentoring.

Spa Creations by Christal is an artisan candle and soap company located in Medina, TN. As a retired Cosmetologist of over 21 years, Christal truly has a passion for creating beautiful things. “Our goal is to provide high quality products with respect for our environment and a healthy lifestyle.”

Mallang Candles is based in Hammond, IN and is founded by Katrina and David Jasper. In 2003, Katrina received a gel candle as a gift from her Mother. She was so impressed by it that she told David that she had found a new hobby. “My husband suggested I that I buy the material and make a couple. Those first few candles ended up being beautiful Mother’s Day gifts for my mother and mother-in-law that year. Those gifts were so well received, from that point a business was born.”

Wax Candle Co. was created by Howard University grad, Jennifer Bryant. This is a Washington, DC based boutique candle company that pairs all-natural soy candles with DJ curated mixtapes to create a unique aromatherapy listening experience.

No.9 Candle Co. is the passion project of best friends and business partners, Yasmine Parrish and Alicia “ChaCha” Rodrigo. All No.9 soy blend candles are custom made and hand poured with love in sunny Los Angeles, CA.

Nikki Makes Scents candles are all hand-crafted along with most of their Bath & Body products. They offer over 600 candle scents to choose from. They are described as a “small American company has the big candle factory feel.” Nikki started this business in 1998 in her native New York.

Houston-native, Shanquita Greggs started Simply Scents Candle Co. by making her candles in her grandmother’s kitchen and selling them out of the trunk of her car. Simply Scents Candle Company has several different products that consist of triple scented candles, room fragrant sprays, electric burners, bath and body products, accessories, and more.

Sweets

Phillip Ashley Chocolates is located in the Historic Cooper Young District in the heart of Memphis, TN. Founder, Chef Phillip Ashley Rix left a corporate job to become an entrepreneur and owner of one of the most popular chocolate brands in the country. His one of a kind combinations will have you scratching your head and reaching for more.

CamiCakes is named after Camille, daughter of founder, Andra Hall. Andra was inspired to bake at a young age by her grandmother and her Easy Bake Oven. “CamiCakes specializes in yummy gourmet cupcakes to enjoy daily or for birthdays, weddings, showers, and many other special celebrations.” They have several locations in Florida as well as Georgia. You can also order online for pick up or delivery.

Vivere Chocolates was created by Robert Bowden. Robert works with seasoned chocolatiers to produce handcrafted fine chocolates for luxury gifts and catered events. Their chocolates are made using a premium blend of all natural 70% chocolate and fresh cream ganaches made from cacao beans form Africa, Central America and South America.

Kristina Maury created LuxeLollies to prove that candy can be as elegant and beautiful as it is delicious. Bored with the traditional candy flavors, she decided to create a line of gourmet hard candies in more sophisticated flavors like Pear Rosemary Champagne Spritzer (best-seller), Lavender Vanilla Mint and Pistachio Rose Cardamom.

Chicago native Maya-Camille Broussard (and Shantrelle’s linesister 38-A-00) picked up the art of baking from her late father, criminal justice attorney Stephen J. Broussard. Inspired by his love of both justice and sweets, she launched Justice of the Pies. Her pies, made from scratch are absolutely delicious.(First hand knowledge)

Bed and Breakfast

Akwaaba Inns is the upscale lodging collection owned by husband and wife team Glenn Pogue and Monique Greenwood. This couple owns a mini bed-and-breakfast empire!

Don and the late Rose Hubbard built The Hubbard Mansion over 15 years ago. The mansion is an elegant Greek revival home located in New Orleans.

Cards

New York-based illustrator, Instagrandmaw is the creator of some of the most hilarious and creative cards in the “creative card” game. Her hip hop/ pop culture inspired cards will definitely help you convey your message and give “bae” a good chuckle.

Ally Elle Cards is comprised of “A creative duo made up of two girls who cuss like sailors and create awesomeness in their individual fields.” Owner, Elle Lewis says “Ally Elle Cards started when yet another holiday passed and I felt I didn’t have the right card.” These works of art will have you clutching your pearls, LYAO, and applauding the ingenuity and wit behind them.

Otis Richardson formed LavenderPop to offer a range of cards to celebrate relationships, friendships, love and pride. “Lavenderpop is inspired by pop culture, Black aesthetic, critical thinkers, revolutionaries, and a celebration of diversity.” Otis studied painting and illustration and obtained a Masters of Fine Arts from Northern Illinois University.

Cigars

Tres Lindas Cubanas is named after a Cuban song and celebrates the beauty of the Cuban woman. Founded by two Afro-Cuban, twin sisters, and two African-American cigar enthusiasts.

Started purely as a passion project by Founder and President Sean Williams, El Primer Mundo (EPM) Cigars has become one of the premium cigar market’s classic small-batch boutique brands.

Don Abram Harris Cigars are the creation of Abram Harris. The brands corporate office in Lexington Park, MD and its plantation and manufacturing crew are all located in Puerto Rico.

Wine

Mouton Noir Wines, founded by iconoclastic sommelier André Hueston Mack in 2007, which incorporate his trademark attitude and personal perspective on wine subculture.

Theopolis Vineyards is a small lot vineyard and hand-crafted winery located in California’s prestigious Yorkville Highlands of the Anderson Valley.

Charles Wine Company is based in Inglewood, CS. The founding members are Cherise, Paul, and De’Ondre Charles. Before starting the company, Charles and his wife Cherise did their research driving back from Florida to California and stopping at wineries across the country.

-Tony O. Lawson

If you would like to add your business to this list (or another) SUBMIT HERE.

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